Translation of the tale of my encounter with poop in an elevator
Yes, you read that correctly. Today I encountered some poop in an elevator. At work.
I have already written about the incident in Japanese, and instead of writing it again in English, I decided that it would be more fun to run my story in Japanese through Google Translations and post the machine translated results to this page.
It's a strange story, and a true one (cross my heart and hope to die), but it's surreal in that nothing like this has ever happened to me in Japan. Perhaps through the linguistically-impaired eyes of a machine translation program, this feeling of surrealism can be further enhanced, bringing you closer to vicariously experiencing my odd tale. If you want me to explain aspects of the story that are unintelligible due to translation errors, just leave a comment and I will try to clear it up.
Notes:
9 hours passing, what is not believed happened. O which works with the same office to the just a little front which work ends saying “the [tsu] [te] before,” it faced to the elevator. Because as for the office there are 6th floor of the building, until the elevator comes, only maximum being, 2 minutes it is required. Because is, I being settled, the document and the daily report when it came out of the office, O stood still before the elevator and when you observed at that it has stopped was surprised. O but kinder one (superior?)Because is, normally, but the relationship which you do not speak only concerning work O laughing just a little so shy, you said.
O: “You looked at the man who now has changed clothes.”
Me: “To obtaining? It is true?! In elevator?”
O: “So. Dream was kana. . .”
Me: When “it does perhaps, metamorphosis. . . Is?”
O: “Well, it is not understood.”
Me: “.”
O: “.”
Me: “It could obtain, and, the clothes at all it had not worn, it is?”
O: “It is, as for the upper body not to have worn the clothes, under of the [te] was just the underpants.”
Me: “.”
O: “.”
Me: If “well, now, it was completed, because probably will be, it probably will try once more?” O:
Me who push the button. 30 seconds the elevator which is required. The door which you open... And, the man who has changed clothes seems that is not. Nature it does, circumstances of the elevator the strange shelf...Something it has fallen on the floor! Just a little waiting, the portable telephone falls and takes and, the carpet becoming dirty with the mud, the [ru]. As for the smell. . . Ill-smelling [tsu]! What the fuck?!! How densely the [tsu] it is?! That this of the floor had been covered in the feces. Being ill-smelling, being dirty, they were two people whom you did not insert in the elevator.
O: “It had leaked. Lowest.”
Me: “.”
O: “It cannot be.”
Me: “The kana where the person who takes the portable telephone as the evidence which can be provided to the police is good.”
O:
And the door closed. The department manager hearing our voices, you inquire something has happened about. O the man who has changed clothes reaching, explaining thing to the department manager, the department manager “(for self defense) the method which had the stick is better”, the [tsu] [te] you propose. O explaining also the fact that to the feces you have been covered, I without explaining that to strange thing, thought that it is completed gratefully. When “returning home in the other staff of the office, the person who avoids the elevator absolutely is good, is. That please get off with the stairway”, it increases advice, A of the Canadian graduate which only can do Japanese a little looking at the agitation around, worrying, it hears in me.
A: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Me: “Uh, not really and I guess. But when you leave work and you should definitely take the stairs.”
A: “Why and what happened to the elevator?”
Me: “Well… first O saw a half-naked man changing in the middle of the elevator…”
A: “Oh God.”
Me: “…So she let it go without her, and when the doors opened again and the elevator was…” A:
Me: “…I mean and somebody had defecated all over the elevator…”
O and already to the 1st floor getting off from one person woman staff and the 6th floor, walking injustice, it arrives to the front of the building. You discuss with the form where the people of the newspaper delivery trader who to the 1st floor is dropped. O it understood from the reaction that the man is not. Only O it seems like the man who does not look at that man to seem, () has worn the suit of 40 generation ~50 generations partly. After teaching that you have known three people who face to the station.
O: “You could not be patient, kana.”
Me: “So you think? However you think that there is no expectation of problem of patience. . .”
O: “You will forget. Because it was present payday, shopping, we would like to try to forget.” Me: “It is, it seems the tired way.”
However the [tsu] [te] it was I who was said, after that kind of incident which is foolish, it divides into some wind and should have greeted probably? Always however it made greeting of sort, although if afterwards it should have made already a little cheerful word, that you had regretted. Don't you think? so the senior (the superior) it put out, “it was serious. Immediately in you should have forgotten the shank.” Perhaps and so on inadequacy and, you think that it was possible to make after all brief. Color is that the person is, however you think, that it is good thing, it prays the fact that from now on either one time does not encounter the droppings of others with the elevator to this society deeply.
I have already written about the incident in Japanese, and instead of writing it again in English, I decided that it would be more fun to run my story in Japanese through Google Translations and post the machine translated results to this page.
It's a strange story, and a true one (cross my heart and hope to die), but it's surreal in that nothing like this has ever happened to me in Japan. Perhaps through the linguistically-impaired eyes of a machine translation program, this feeling of surrealism can be further enhanced, bringing you closer to vicariously experiencing my odd tale. If you want me to explain aspects of the story that are unintelligible due to translation errors, just leave a comment and I will try to clear it up.
Notes:
- The text indicated in red was English I used within the original Japanese story, which explains why it's much easier to understand than the rest.
- I was reminded of David Sedaris' "Me Talk Pretty One Day" as I read the translation below. If you get a chuckle out of reading this entry, please give his audiobook a listen!
------------ MACHINE TRANSLATION FOLLOWS ------------
9 hours passing, what is not believed happened. O which works with the same office to the just a little front which work ends saying “the [tsu] [te] before,” it faced to the elevator. Because as for the office there are 6th floor of the building, until the elevator comes, only maximum being, 2 minutes it is required. Because is, I being settled, the document and the daily report when it came out of the office, O stood still before the elevator and when you observed at that it has stopped was surprised. O but kinder one (superior?)Because is, normally, but the relationship which you do not speak only concerning work O laughing just a little so shy, you said.
O: “You looked at the man who now has changed clothes.”
Me: “To obtaining? It is true?! In elevator?”
O: “So. Dream was kana. . .”
Me: When “it does perhaps, metamorphosis. . . Is?”
O: “Well, it is not understood.”
Me: “.”
O: “.”
Me: “It could obtain, and, the clothes at all it had not worn, it is?”
O: “It is, as for the upper body not to have worn the clothes, under of the [te] was just the underpants.”
Me: “.”
O: “.”
Me: If “well, now, it was completed, because probably will be, it probably will try once more?” O:
Me who push the button. 30 seconds the elevator which is required. The door which you open... And, the man who has changed clothes seems that is not. Nature it does, circumstances of the elevator the strange shelf...Something it has fallen on the floor! Just a little waiting, the portable telephone falls and takes and, the carpet becoming dirty with the mud, the [ru]. As for the smell. . . Ill-smelling [tsu]! What the fuck?!! How densely the [tsu] it is?! That this of the floor had been covered in the feces. Being ill-smelling, being dirty, they were two people whom you did not insert in the elevator.
O: “It had leaked. Lowest.”
Me: “.”
O: “It cannot be.”
Me: “The kana where the person who takes the portable telephone as the evidence which can be provided to the police is good.”
O:
And the door closed. The department manager hearing our voices, you inquire something has happened about. O the man who has changed clothes reaching, explaining thing to the department manager, the department manager “(for self defense) the method which had the stick is better”, the [tsu] [te] you propose. O explaining also the fact that to the feces you have been covered, I without explaining that to strange thing, thought that it is completed gratefully. When “returning home in the other staff of the office, the person who avoids the elevator absolutely is good, is. That please get off with the stairway”, it increases advice, A of the Canadian graduate which only can do Japanese a little looking at the agitation around, worrying, it hears in me.
A: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Me: “Uh, not really and I guess. But when you leave work and you should definitely take the stairs.”
A: “Why and what happened to the elevator?”
Me: “Well… first O saw a half-naked man changing in the middle of the elevator…”
A: “Oh God.”
Me: “…So she let it go without her, and when the doors opened again and the elevator was…” A:
Me: “…I mean and somebody had defecated all over the elevator…”
O and already to the 1st floor getting off from one person woman staff and the 6th floor, walking injustice, it arrives to the front of the building. You discuss with the form where the people of the newspaper delivery trader who to the 1st floor is dropped. O it understood from the reaction that the man is not. Only O it seems like the man who does not look at that man to seem, () has worn the suit of 40 generation ~50 generations partly. After teaching that you have known three people who face to the station.
O: “You could not be patient, kana.”
Me: “So you think? However you think that there is no expectation of problem of patience. . .”
O: “You will forget. Because it was present payday, shopping, we would like to try to forget.” Me: “It is, it seems the tired way.”
However the [tsu] [te] it was I who was said, after that kind of incident which is foolish, it divides into some wind and should have greeted probably? Always however it made greeting of sort, although if afterwards it should have made already a little cheerful word, that you had regretted. Don't you think? so the senior (the superior) it put out, “it was serious. Immediately in you should have forgotten the shank.” Perhaps and so on inadequacy and, you think that it was possible to make after all brief. Color is that the person is, however you think, that it is good thing, it prays the fact that from now on either one time does not encounter the droppings of others with the elevator to this society deeply.
posted by jeremy at 5:57 AM
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